I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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