Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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