Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize