He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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