Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
