too bad you live with your parents still
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
