If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
