he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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