I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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