My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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