Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
