ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize