i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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