do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
