Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
