It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Boobs speak an international language.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
