So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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