did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
