He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
