when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize