FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
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he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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