were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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