She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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