is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
