I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
