Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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