I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
