Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sober January is a disaster.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
