So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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