ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
