I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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