Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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