Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
