i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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