why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
