oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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