She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize