her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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