she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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