i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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