No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
