It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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