legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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