I look better un-naked...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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