Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
