he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
