I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
