just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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