well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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