Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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