I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
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Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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