whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
