We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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