i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
