this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
