Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The power of my boobs compel you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
