Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
