I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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