garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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