I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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