R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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