When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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