K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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