Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
